Somewhere between Christmas and New Year's

I’ve just got back to my flat from Gdańsk. Six hours on the train has left me feeling totally drained. I should probably go to the shop and pick up some food, as I have nothing in the kitchen. But I hate shopping. Eating isn’t a great pleasure of mine either.

I’m feeling quite spacey. Lack of food methinks. That and the half of a rolly I’ve just had possibly. Instead of sitting around the family house with nothing to do, I’m lying on my bed with nothing to do. Force myself to write something. Be productive or something. I just had a little play on the Mega Drive games I downloaded, it seems like my attention span has decreased in age. It feels like I can’t focus or be entertained by anything for more than five minutes any more. God knows what I’ll be like at 30. I doubt I’ll have free time to spend when I’m 30. I might as well make the most of it while I’ve got it.

Drum my fingers on the keyboard while I think of something to write. I’m not even thinking. Just churning out dirge from the shallowest enclaves of my head.

Something documentary like. Come on Horner. OK, so the past three days of holiday fun has been entertaining. Three days in the company of the parents Borszyńska has been quite hard work. I believe the majority of the time spent in the carriage was time spent witnessing Jerzy in comedian mode. I can’t be sure as I don’t understand that much Polish, I couldn’t help thinking I was the butt of most of it. I don’t know if I was or not. That’s not the point. I’m not even sure what the point is. I think it something to do with the lack of expertise in Polish. I’m feeling quite lost not understanding anything. The best bit of the Christmas trip was mucking about with Olivia’s cousin Bartek. He’s 12. Mucking about knows no language. Nor does making fart noises.

The house in Gdańsk was just that. A real house. Apparently I’ve started to forget that they exist. You don’t see many in Warsaw. Four walls, stairs, multiple bathrooms. Crazy. The place was situated on a hill too. Imagine that! Perhaps that’s the issue I have with Warsaw. It’s too flat.

So… plans. Olivia’s coming over in a while (vague time frames, my favourite) and then we’re going to drink some beer. Not much alcohol was consumed during the festive period. Not at all like the Christmas I’m used to. Bloody religion. Getting in the way of fun. Seriously. In the four days we spent there we went to church three times! (Although once was just a drop in visit to say ‘Hi’ to God, I had to explain to Ol that it still counted as a trip to church despite that lack of service.) Hmm, what else? Lots of sitting around thinking, what next, I think.

Yeah, what next? The eternal question. At some point in the next few months I’m going to have to figure out what exactly the fuck I am going to do when we get back to Britain. Hell, I can’t even figure out what to do this afternoon. As the next step to my writing about stuff (the term stuff can be easily applied) I’m going to try and produce some videos. Get my stupid face on YouTube. Expand on the creativity stakes. Plus if I have to speak to a camera I’ll have to use it for something other than boring mind wandering rants.