The French Chick

By popular demand (or rather some nagging from Chris) I have to add an appendix to the night we went to the mafia run strip club.

"I can't believe you left out the French chick!"

OK mate, for your benefit and everybody else's, I give you The French Chick.

As I previously mentioned, the variety of girls at work at Sofia (yes, they have a website!) catered for everybody's tastes: the blind, the old, the drunk. There were even some hot ones. The kind that you wouldn't say no to after a strong cup of tea.

And despite our glances being taken by the not so gut-wrenchingly ugly ones (the kind that wouldn't look a miss in a top shelf magazine), the star of the night was a pretty average looking girl.

With a shoulder length haircut which made me think of this girl from Clerks, I thought we had fallen back into the early 1990s. But in strip clubs, as anywhere else, appearances can be deceiving. Within about thirty seconds of her taking the pole, our "she's not even hot" type comments were stunted mid breath. Despite not being extremely attractive in the face, tits or well... any department, this girl could do to a pole what any chap would like to be done to his pole. I'm no expert on the finesse technicalities of pole dancing, but for all the stretching and athleticism she lacked, she more than made up with the 'this is how I'd fuck you' attitude.

Marveling from our front row seats, with room temperatured beer in our hands, I tried to surmise the appeal of her 'stage presence'.

"Perhaps, and look around you as I say this, it's because she's not some plastic titted, bleach blonde, kerb crawling looking stripper. She's so hot, because in this world of generally accepted standards of hotness, she isn't hot. It's her difference to the crowd that makes her look so awesome. That or we've been staring at fake tits for so long, we just want to get on someone who looks like a real girl. One that we could and have many times before, met somewhere and just nailed the hell out of her for the sake of having sex. She's hot because she seems obtainable."

The irony being that neither of us parted with 50zł to obtain some regulated attention.