Time To Pretend

Every night when I go to bed, I can't wait for the morning to greet me. As I open my eyes to the silver [grey] skies (if I'm lucky enough for it to be light already) my heart is filled with joy, the prospects of another day at work is enlightening.

My heart explodes as I find myself arrive at a bus stop on time to find that I'm either five minutes late or five minutes early for my bus to work. Either way, I'm not going to make it on time to class and my brain fills with excitement at this possibility.

I'm met at a school by a dinner lady looking person (apparently a caretaker) who doesn't understand a word I say, as I try to explain in broken Polish that: I'm an English teacher and I'd like the keys to one of the classrooms please. My sides rip with laughter as when walking up the stairs I hear her joking in a snide voice to her caretaking friends, 'Dzien dobry, jestem angielskim.'

LOL. Big fat, squirm around on the floor because you've stuffed your face with too many cases of screw the Englishman in the ass laugh out louds.

You see, today I got paid. In the normal world of common sense, this would be a day of joy and happiness. A time for buying luxuries and ignoring the impeding three weeks of poverty. Alas, in my world it has been a time of reckoning.

This is because my employer has decided it is appropriate to punish my lateness to classes (entirely due to poor knowledge of the city and its SHITHOUSE public transportation system) by docking my wages. Apparently, if I'm to survive the next month I have to live on about a KitKat and egg shells for my daily meals. And they don't even have KitKats here.

So for the next few hours I'm going to be in a world where I can leap from building to building on legs made of tagliatelle and the worst thing that will happen is I'll find myself stood front of a school assembly with my shiny hairless balls on display. [I don't have bald nuts, my dreams are just so vivid they can account for physical development depending on when the scene is set.]

And then I'll wake up and find myself in my room, with my hairy balls on display in just as much despair.